Years ago I would feel envy. I saw a lot of friends travelling to Barcelona in the last weekend of October and I always thought I wanted to go, although my parents wouldn't let me go. Some years after that I was overexcited, I went for a couple of years in a row and it meant fun and friends, cosplay and lots of time in a manga wonderland.
I grew up and I realized it was really exhausting, I didn't feel like I could find there whatever I wanted because stalls would only have the same things than in previous years and plus, the internet provided all those so I didn't need to go to find hard-to-find merchandise...and I started to feel stressed and annoyed.
This year, being two years since I last met thorbadin and gingetsu , two dear friends I miss a lot right now, two years since we almost became pros in the manga business (smoke illusions, on the other hand), two years since our Poenix Wright Cosplay....I find myself...indifferent. I barely noticed the con, a great event, something I longed for, something I've enjoyed, something that made me meet a bunch of dear friends...and now it's like "wow, so it's this weekend, uh?" but it means nothing. Actually I feel relieved of being at home instead of struggling against a mass of freakish and loud people. I also think of the great amount of money I'm saving... (plane, trains, and various transportations)....and I realize that means I'm growing older...
It's strange how being indifferente makes me feel sad somehow.